30. Those days of quick hangover recovery seem so long ago now as you lay there in bed reflecting on last night’s poor choices and undoubtedly vow yet again to never drink another day in your life. We all know that’s not true but we say it anyway. “What am I doing with my life?” you may wonder as your head pounds, reminding you your 21 days was now a decade ago.
You kind of make a sad attempt to sit yourself up only to be greeted with a nice familiar wave of nausea to sink back under the covers. You grab your phone because it’s the only thing in reach and because social media fix. Like clockwork you unlock your phone your eyes search for the app with the bright icon of a camera and start scrolling through your feed to see what you’ve missed from last night.
Wedding. Wedding. Baby pic. Baby Shower. Kid’s birthday. Wedding. New baby. Baby doing baby things. Bridal Shower. Engaged. More reflecting on your life. Not only are you 30 and hungover probably for the next two days, but everyone’s posts on Instagram are full of where we think we were all supposed to be at this stage in life. Some of your friends are on their second and third kid while you’re still trying to decide what Netflix show to binge on next.
The closest thing you have to a child is your dog – that in itself is a whole other story full of much more responsibility than you intended, your job is not that fulfilling but okay enough to make you stay because bills, you may or may not be in a relationship but feel far from being ready for marriage or kids.
30. Your parents probably have told you about twenty times now where they were at your age by now, married, 4 kids, house, great job, the whole nine. More reflecting. Man, who knew at 30 you’d still be living in your parents house, no ring, no kids, no house to call your own. Your friends and relatives are probably asking “when’s it your turn?” at every wedding as you awkwardly laugh and make up some excuse like focusing on your career.
It’s not surprising to feel a little lost right now, but you shouldn’t. Here’s why. We’ve been programmed to believe we were supposed to graduate high school, go on to college, lock in a nice high salary job shortly after, marry the soulmate of your dreams pretty much by 25, buy a nice house, have children and live happily ever after. Yes, this timeline fits some people but not everyone. We all go on different paces, paths, and are uniquely different.
Just because the person next to you is married doesn’t mean you have to be. Maybe not right now, maybe not ever. Who knows really. But do not force anything upon yourself that is not for you or you are not ready for. That will backfire on you I promise. Before you try to shape yourself into the mold of the programmed lifestyle one “should” have, ask yourself what truly makes you happy.
Instead of focusing on other people, concentrate on your own unique journey. Realize that if you are pursuing things simply for the purpose of “where you’re supposed to be” in life, your intentions are wrong. Do not be afraid of questioning society’s norms. Dance to the beat of your own drum. Have your own goals. Do what makes you happy! Figure yourself out a little more. We spend our entire lives learning more about our own self. Don’t question where you are in life, enjoy it instead. Things will fall into place as it should.